I'm Too Scared To Say I Love You
by PrincessMuk
Summary: It all started with an anxiety attack . . . one that Lance wouldn't soon forget. Klance, Klangst, and a hint of Shallura. Rated T for mild language.
1. Song: Together by Noah Cyrus

One breath in, one breath out. In, out. In, out. In, o- Lance gasped, the need for air was too strong. He couldn't calm down, and breathing normally wasn't working. He needed more air, more, more, more. In, out. In, out. In, out. It still wasn't working. Dammit, why wasn't it working? The breathing was getting to difficult now, the need to much. It was like all the oxygen had disappeared, leaving Lance with a stale air he could barely even breathe.

It was impossible to breathe, and now he was thinking about it too much. If only he could stop thinking about it. Think about something else, Lance. Think about something else!

But it wasn't working. Nothing was working. He felt anxious, and scared, and he didn't know why. No matter how many times they happened, no matter how much he got through them, the anxiety attacks never got easier. In fact, they always seemed to get harder to deal with. They always came out of nowhere, too. They were dangerous. Unpredictable. Scary. All of the things Lance had come to hate.

He must have been breathing and whispering to himself pretty loudly, because he soon heard footsteps rushing down the long, dark hall of the rooms. They stopped right at his door, knocking worriedly.

"Is everything okay in there?" a voice asked, though Lance couldn't tell who it was over his own heavy breathing. With no response, the voice spoke once again, "I'm coming in, hold on."

The doors swooshed open, revealing the dark shadow of the figure. Lance still couldn't tell who it was until he came closer, the light finally shining on his features. Keith. Of course it was Keith. Because Lance _definitely_ needed _him_ there at that moment to make _everything_ better.

But in truth, Lance really just needed someone there. Someone, anyone. Keith wasn't his first choice, and he wasn't the best person for the job, but Lance supposed he was better than being all alone. Unless, of course, he'd use this as blackmail later. God, he hoped he wouldn't.

"Lance, what's wrong?" Keith asked, hesitantly sitting himself down on Lance's bed.

"C-can't breathe . . . " Lance managed to say as he gasped for air, more, more air. "S-sorry, it's just my . . . my anxiety and s-stuff."

"Anxiety?" Keith raised a brow, "does this happen a lot?"

Lance shrugged and nodded at the same time, a kind of _yes-but-not-really_ answer.

Keith bit his lip, looking unsure of how to react to the situation. "I, um, do you need water or something?"

"N-no, I just . . . " Lance breathed deeper, if that was even possible. "I just need to _breathe_ . . . "

"Lance, don't do it like that," Keith said firmly, though not in his usual _god-you're-such-an-idiot_ tone. "Breathe in, and breathe out. In through the nose, out through the mouth." Keith demonstrated, breathing calmly. In through his nose, out through his mouth.

Lance began to follow his example, their breathing eventually synchronizing. It didn't feel like it was enough. Lance still felt a strong urge to go back to his gasping and gulping, but he knew it wouldn't do him any good. At least he had enough control to breathe normally now, even if it pained him to do so.

"Is that better?" Keith asked.

Lance nodded, still breathing at the pace Keith had shown him.

"Did . . . did something happen?" Keith asked, a little unfamiliar with how the whole anxiety thing worked.

"No, just . . . I dunno. All my . . . my _problems_ and stuff were just piling up a-and I just . . . I just broke." Lance shook his head, unsure how to explain it.

Keith was quiet for a moment, then he set a hand on Lance's leg softly. "Would it help if you talked about it?"

Lance looked over to Keith, a mix of fear and trust in his eyes. Trust soon won over as he stared into the violet orbs, smiling slightly as he did so. The amount of support Keith could give him with just one look was comforting enough, and Lance suddenly felt as if he could tell Keith everything. Maybe it wasn't _Keith_ himself making him feel that way, but the fact that he finally had someone there to listen. Someone who he knew wasn't going to give him long speeches instead of just being quiet and listening, because that wasn't how Keith worked.

"Well . . . for one thing, I'm feeling like a shitty Paladin right now." Lance began.

"What? Why?" Keith asked, his brow quirked in confusion.

"I mean, I'm not that _good_ , you know? I'm not that _cool_ . . . You of all people should know, I mean, I shoot like a freaking Stormtrooper . . . a-and I'm never there to have people's backs . . . I'm always the one that needs to be saved. It's . . . it's freaking _annoying_. _I'm_ freaking annoying."

"Lance, you know that isn't true," Keith shook his head in awe. "You're our sharpshooter, remember? You're a great shot, you know that. A-and you always need to be saved because you're the one taking actual risks, and throwing yourself in harm's way so nobody else gets hurt. It's just part of being selfless . . . "

"Well, that's a . . . _heroic_ way to put it. But, you know I'm still not that cool . . . saving everyone all the time, sacrificing myself . . . " Lance looked down.

"Lance, you know as well as I do that you're the type of guy who'd sacrifice himself to save his teammates in a heartbeat, though I'm not saying that's necessarily a _good_ thing . . . " Keith trailed off, his slight concern becoming more evident to Lance.

"Yeah, okay . . . " Lance sighed. He shouldn't have expected Keith to get it.

"Anything else?"

"Well . . . I kinda feel like this whole Voltron thing is my fault. Like, it's great and all, being a hero and saving the universe and stuff, but it's not like any of us signed up for it . . . "

"But how does that make it _your_ fault?" Keith inquired.

"Pidge and Hunk are only here because _I didn't want to go to my room_. I mean, how stupid is that?! Hunk's family is probably worried sick about him, and now that I know Pidge is actually _Matt freaking Holt's_ sister, I feel horrible because now her mom has basically lost everyone in her family without explanation, and that makes me feel horrible about my family, because I mean, what do you think the Garrison even told my family?! That I went on some space mission to save the world? They probably told them I was dead or some shit like that, just like they did with the Kerberos Mission! And now I'll never get to see my mom again, or see the ocean, or the rain, and-"

" _Lance_ ," Keith said his name firmly, pulling him out of his rambling. "You're going to see you're family again, and they'll be so happy to see you. I mean, you talk about them all the time, it's like they're all you care about. I can't really debunk the whole Garrison-telling-everyone-you're-dead thing, but I _can_ tell you that once we get back to Earth, we can fix that. The Garrison is full of douche bags anyways, it'll be good to get them in some trouble."

"Yeah, but who'd believe us? You saw how they were treating Shiro . . . and he's _Shiro_! Why would anyone believe a bunch of rag-tag teenagers over a giant institute for space pilots?! A-and who's to say we'll even get back to Earth, huh? Zarkon has been building his empire for 10,000 years, and we just expect to defeat him in like a year or something? I wouldn't be surprised if we all died of old age before the war's over . . . " Lance got going again, tears beginning to run down his face at the depressing thoughts.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his cheek, and the tears were being wiped away with the swift movements of a thumb. He looked up at Keith, staring back into those violet eyes once again, blinking at the closeness they'd never before experienced.

"I'm not the best with comforting, or with telling people everything's going to be okay, because I sure as hell know that life sucks sometimes, but . . . " Keith seemed to have an extra radiance, the softness in his voice comforting, especially since Lance had never heard it like that before. Well, maybe he had once, but it was a fuzzy memory . . . "I am going to make it my mission to get you back to Earth, so you can see your family, if only just to say goodbye to them forever. We stop by planets all the time, I'm sure a quick talk with Shiro and Allura will convince them that we need to sort things out on our home turf. I'm not saying the situation is perfect, it's far from it, but I think we can make it a little less sucky, at the very least. Okay?"

Lance didn't respond for a moment. The two were so close that he could feel Keith's breath on him, though it wasn't as if he was right up in his face. He realized that he'd finally gotten comfortable, and had been breathing fine for almost the entire conversation. He'd finally relaxed. How Keith had done it, he didn't know, but he hoped he could find out. To him, it was the purest magic he'd ever known to exist. "Y-yeah, okay."

"Good," Keith smiled lightly, his hand slowly falling off Lance's cheek, as the tears had stopped coming.

"What about you?" Lance asked suddenly. "Isn't there someone you need to get back to?"

Keith bit his lip, "I don't . . . I haven't really talked to my family in a long time . . . I mean, I guess my mom was an _alien_ , so I don't think I'll be seeing her anytime soon, and my dad, well . . . he has _issues_ , to say the least. So, um, no. There's nobody I need to, um, tell I'm not dead and whatnot."

Lance frowned, the sadness of his teammate's situation almost heartbreaking to him. "You know what Keith?"

"What?"

"I'm going to take you with me to talk to my family, whenever that happens, and they're going to love you."

Keith didn't really know what to say. He was a bit confused for a moment, then he was just blinking at the offer. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, they're going to make you feel like you're part of the family too, and that includes teasing, by the way, and you're going to be able to have people on Earth to remember."

"Lance, you really don't have to do that . . . "

"Nope, it's decided now. It's happening."

"But-"

"Keith, buddy, come on," Lance grinned slightly, his usual jokester demeanor returning to lighten the mood, "if you're gonna promise me that I'll see them, _you're_ gonna see them too."

Hesitantly, Keith sighed, haven giving up on fighting, "fine."

"Cool," Lance smiled, the simple word being all he needed to say.

"So, um, did talking help, then?" Keith asked, remembering the anxious episode.

"Yeah, thanks." Lance gave Keith a sincere smile, one that would shine brighter than all the stars combined if only it could.

"Good," Keith returned the smile, though his wasn't nearly as impressive. "So, um, do you want me to uh, go then, or . . . " Keith didn't really seem to know what "or" was, which amused Lance slightly.

Lance had a sudden feeling though, call it a gut feeling, that if Keith left him, at least at that point, he would go back into full-blown panic mode again. "Um, do you . . . God, this is gonna sound weird, but, um, if you wouldn't mind, do you think you could stay a bit longer? Like, just until I fall asleep . . . I just, I'm afraid I'll get all panicky again, and I . . . "

"Yeah, no, sure, no problem," Keith agreed faster than either boys would have expected, but the rambling was starting again, and Keith was beginning to see a correlation between it and the anxiety. Once Lance fell asleep, he'd be able to just go back to his own room and sleep, or maybe train some more, depending on his mood. It would be much faster to do this than to leave and have thoughts clouding his mind of Lance getting into his own head again.

"Th-thanks." Lance stuttered, although he was a little unsure why. It must have just been the embarrassment of having to ask Keith to stay with him like he was his _mommy_ or something. Yeah, that was pretty embarrassing.

"Like I said, it's no problem. It's what teammates do. We help each other." Keith gave a small smile, a rarely seen dimple appearing on his right cheek.

"Yeah," Lance grabbed his earbuds and MP3 player, connecting the two before putting the earbuds in his ears. Soft, slow music began to play, the calmness of it and the dark room, which seemed to wrap around him like a soft blanket, surrounding him. He laid himself down, Keith still sitting on the side of his bed, and his eyes lidded shut, the presence of the other male more comforting then he'd ever thought it would be.

Keith's gaze trailed around the room, as he was unsure what he was really supposed to be doing, so he ended up just looking back at Lance. He looked peaceful, like a sweet child being tucked in for the night.

"Night, Keith," Lance whispered softly as he began to drift off, the anxious thoughts finally leaving his mind, which was a uncommon yet pleasant surprise. He was shaking a little, he didn't really know why, but he knew it would stop once he fell into slumber. Being jittery was just the last stage in the most recent episode of _Lance's Anxiety!™_ , he supposed.

Keith noticed, so as he whispered a sweet "good night," back, he tucked the blankets around Lance softly, careful to not disrupt the boy's fall into the world of dreams and darkness. He gently brushed Lance's parted mini-bangs to their respective sides, just the way Lance always styled it, and he let his hand hover over to Lance's shoulder, holding it there comfortingly. The shaking stopped soon after, and the steady breathing of the silent Paladin told Keith that Lance was finally asleep.

He didn't know how long he stayed there, watching Lance to make sure he was okay and sleeping, but it must have been a while, because before he knew it, he was falling asleep by his side, his arm eventually wrapping itself around Lance . . .

* * *

 **COMING UP NEXT: KLANGST! EARTH? AND EVEN MORE KLANGST! (and possibly some Shallura, idk)**


	2. Song: I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

Waking up was usually Lance's favorite part of the day. Waking up was a time to start off a fresh, new morning. It was a clean slate, where the craziness of the day before had disappeared, and all fears and worries were washed away . . . True, Lance usually woke up later than most people, but he was definitely a morning person. His morning routine lasted only fifteen minutes, when it had lasted him an hour only two years before, because he wanted to get started with the day as soon as possible.

But with mornings, and waking up, was the groggy feeling one had when their eyes were just fluttering open, the memories and experiences of the night before completely gone, if only for a moment. They'd soon rush back, and the energy would soon reach Lance, the refreshing feeling of getting a nice amount of rest flowing throughout his body.

But there was still the annoyance of that temporary memory wipe.

Lance's body woke up, though he was keeping his eyes closed for a moment. He was still a bit tired, having stayed up late the night before (that much he remembered). His blankets were heavier than usual in a few spots . . . like there was something on top of him, but only in certain places. He then noticed was . . . hugging something. A pillow, maybe? But it was way too warm and long to be a pillow . . . Besides, he realized that it may have been wrapped around him a bit. Lance moved his hands up the thing, trying to feel for what it was. It was only when his fingers touched silky strands of hair that he opened his eyes quickly, seeing none other than _Keith Kogane_ wrapped in a cuddly embrace with him in his bed.

Lance yelped, his arms pulling back almost immediately. Keith made a small noise in his sleep, somehow not having woken up yet. The Paladin usually was an early-riser, which was interesting considering the fact that he trained into the early hours of the morning when he thought nobody would notice, but then of course he'd never realized that Lance was up just as late sometimes, thinking about life and his problems and whatnot.

It was that thought that triggered the memories from the other night to come rushing back into Lance's conscious. He was breathing a bit heavy from the surprise and sudden panic of finding Keith snuggling with him in his bed, but he soon calmed himself. He shouldn't have been to surprised. He'd been the one to ask Keith to stay with him, after all. He should have known he'd get tired, though Lance was now wondering why the _quiznack_ he'd stayed with him long enough to fall asleep. Maybe Lance had just worried him . . . or, maybe he'd simply been to lazy to go back to his bed. Lance doubted that last one. He was sure Keith would have left at the first chance he'd gotten, if only to get away from Lance and his . . . _problems_. Then again, he had fallen asleep in his bed, so . . . what had happened?

Lance shook his head. He was overthinking this. He quickly realized that he couldn't get out of his bed without disturbing Keith, as he had gotten in the bed after Lance had, therefor trapping Lance in the corner of his room. He huffed, wondering if he should just wake Keith up.

Before he could decide what to do, Keith made another noise, reaching up to grab at the air. Lance lifted a brow, unsure of what was going on. It wasn't until Keith murmured, "Lance . . . " that he realized: Keith was wondering where his _snuggle-buddy_ was.

" _NOPE_ ," Lance said aloud. "NOPE, NOPENOPENOPENOPE NOOOOPPPEEE." He scooted himself into the corner, pulling his knees up to his chest. This morning was turning out very weird, and Lance did not like it.

The loud _NOPE_ ing must have triggered something, because Keith's eyes finally opened, his arms falling down immediately. "Wha . . . Lance? Wait, frick." Keith remembered what had happened much quicker than Lance had, looking over into the corner at the other teen. "Sorry, I don't know what-"

"It's fine. Just, uh, forget it ever happened." Lance excused it quickly, giving an awkward smile.

"Um, yeah, okay," Keith agreed, unsure if Lance was only talking about the falling asleep.

"So, um, think I can leave my bed?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Keith got up quickly, stepping back a few feet to allow Lance room to get up himself.

Lance practically jumped out of his bed, stretching his arms into the air.

"Um, I'll just . . . leave, then . . . " Keith quietly excused himself, a warm red accumulating on his cheeks. He backed into the door by accident, then exited awkwardly as they opened for him.

"Yup, cool, bye!" Lance gave another smile, sighing loudly as the doors closed behind the Red Paladin. " _That_ was awkward."

Keith sighed on the other side of the door, looking over to his right where Shiro was blinking in confusion.

"Keith? What were you . . . " his eyes trailed over to Lance's doors.

"Nothing! Just, um, he stole my shampoo so I was trying to get it back!"

"Um," Shiro's mouth was open as if he was going to say something, but he quickly closed it. Then, he opened it again to add, "yeah, okay. No more fighting, then."

"Yes sir," Keith responded with an unusual formality.

"Uhhh, I'm going to go . . . help Allura with something. We'll be in the the navigation room if you need either of us." Shiro quickly excused himself from the situation, looking rather dumbfounded at it all.

Keith sighed once again, running his fingers through his long bangs. "Well _that_ went well . . . "

Meanwhile, Lance was attempting to do his skin-care routine, though he was taking a lot longer than usual to set everything up. He wanted to buy as much time as he could before he had to see Keith again, because he knew very well that it was going to be awkward. He grabbed his comb as his face mask dried, parting his hair just the way he liked it. He slicked some styling gel in, just to make sure it stayed, and smiled at himself in the mirror, pointing finger guns at his reflection.

"You, Lance McClain, are a _god_ ," he winked, sending himself into a small fit of laughter.

He washed his mask off, grabbing his lotion and spreading some along his already smooth skin. With a deep breath in through his nostrils, he cracked his knuckles, knowing there was nothing else he had to do in his room. His stomach was grumbling, and he wasn't going to let an awkward situation with Keith prevent him from eating.

So he marched out his door, a look of pride on his face, his head held high, as he made his way towards the kitchen. He saw Hunk emerging from his room just ahead of him, so he sped up his pace until he was by his side.

"Mornin' Hunk," he grinned to his best friend.

"Good morning!" Hunk smiled, the two just about to enter the kitchen. "You sleep well?"

"Yeah," Lance responded as they entered, "I slept just _fine_ . . . "

Lance then noticed that _Keith_ was in the kitchen.

" _God dammit_ Keith, why do you have to be in every room I want to go in?" he complained, grabbing a plate to pour his food goo into.

"What? Um, sorry?" Keith's eyes darted across the room, not sure where to stay. "I was just eating breakfast . . . "

"Yeah, well, whatever," Lance sat down, but not before grabbing a spoon.

Hunk rolled his eyes at the two, used to their bickering, "so what about you, Keith? Did you sleep well?"

"Uhh . . . " Keith's gaze trailed to Lance, "yeah, I mean, I stayed up kinda late, but uh, I slept . . . _fine_?"

Hunk's brow raised at the uncertainty of the answer, then he just shrugged, "that's good."

"Yup."

A sort of nothingness filled the room as Lance shoveled food into his mouth, Keith poked at his goo, and Hunk searched for some seasonings to add to his food, the three Paladins quiet as mice (not space mice though, they're pretty chatty).

"Soooo," Lance started, ending the silence, "you guys wanna do some team training today? I'm in the mood to punch something."

"Yeah, sure," Hunk smiled, tapping the seasoning's container to sprinkle some onto his food.

"Uh, sure," Keith agreed.

"Cool," Lance took another bite, the silence returning.

And so it continued on like that for who knows how long, a streak of silence followed by a question or two by one of the boys, then the silence coming right back. Hunk seemed to sense that's how the others wanted it to be, but really Keith and Lance just didn't know what to even say to each other. Lance was hoping the team training would help lighten the mood, maybe even help the boys bond more, but he knew it wouldn't even happen for an hour or so.

Keith, on the other hand, was just trying to act as normal as possible, whilst _still_ keeping in mind the way Lance had admitted to feeling the other night. He didn't want to add to the problem, so he held in his usual banter and jokes towards Lance. Someone said something was small? Well at that moment, Lance's brain just _happened_ to be bigger. Lance said something stupid? Keith let it be.

It was a weird morning, to say the least.

It wasn't until Pidge came in for her own food that everything started to return to its normal state. The atmosphere became ten times more sarcastic, and soon the Paladins were chatting and laughing up a storm, the awkwardness fading away.

This only continued as Shiro and Allura waltzed in, Shiro pulling out Allura's chair for her kindly before he sat down himself. They added to the conversations, their parent-like natures giving a good humor to it all.

And then Shiro had to go and ruin it.

"Keith," he whispered, "can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Uh, yeah," Keith answered, getting up.

Shiro led him to the hallway, his voice low, "would you mind telling me why you were _really_ in Lance's room?"

Keith's cheeks reddened, which conveyed something Keith had not wanted to convey, as he struggled to give an answer, "well, uh, I just, um . . . "

"Keith."

"I just, was talking to him late last night, and I uh, fell asleep in there?"

"You _slept_ with him?" Shiro's eyes widened.

"God, _no_ , not like _that_!" the blushing only intensified.

Shiro shook his head, "I'll be right back."

"What . . . "

Shiro walked back into the kitchen, only to return with Lance.

" _SHIRO_!" Keith fumed.

"Okay Lance, Keith, I'm all ears. Explain." Shiro crossed his arms, his expression closely resembling a father's when his children were in trouble.

"I told you what happened!" Keith said, his fists clenching.

"Wait, what are we . . . " Lance suddenly realized that Keith must have _told Shiro_. He must have told him _everything_. Of course he did, that traitor. "Keith! Did you _tell_ him?!"

Shiro's eyes widened, "tell me _what_ exactly? Because Keith has told me a lot of things that I'm pretty sure aren't true."

"No, _frick_ , no!" Keith growled, trying to get a hold of the situation. "I swear I just fell asleep on accident! It was really late!"

"Wait, so you _didn't_ tell him?"

"So there _is_ something going on!" Shiro's eyes widened more, if that was even possible.

"No! There is _nothing_ going on!" Keith practically shouted, the entire galaxy able to hear.

Shiro and Lance were quiet for a moment, then Shiro gave Keith a sad look, before going back into the kitchen, leaving only Lance and Keith in the hallway.

"I _thought_ we said we'd forget that ever happened," Lance said, his words venomous.

" _Sorry_ , Shiro saw me leave your room and . . . ugh!" Keith grunted, his frustrations too great for simple words.

"And now he thinks we're hooking up. Great."

" _NO_! _Not_ great! Definitely _not_ great!" Keith ran his hand through his hair once again, trying to make sense of the situation.

"I was being _sarcastic_ , idiot." Lance rolled his eyes.

"Well _sorry_ I was trying to cover up for your _freak out_!" Keith's arms flung into the air.

"Oh, so now it's _my_ fault?"

"I'm just saying, I was doing you a solid by not telling him you have freaking _crippling depression_ or some shit, since you _obviously_ don't want anyone to know for some stupid reason! I mean, what is your deal anyways? Are you too _cool_ to admit to being a big baby?"

Lance looked shocked, and Keith immediately regretted his choice of words. Lance's face grew defensive quickly, masking is emotions like always. His brown furrowed as his nose crinkled, a large frown forming.

"Funny," Lance crossed his arms, "it almost seemed like you _cared_ last night, but apparently I was wrong."

"Wait, Lance-"

Lance flashed his middle finger. "Frick. You." He spat before turning around and storming away.

Keith just stood there, regretting everything he'd ever said or done, biting his lip in anger. He punched the wall, "dammit," and realized he'd bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. He stopped quickly, letting himself go slack against the wall, not really sure what else to do.

" _Great job_ Keith," he muttered, "you've done it again. Relationship skills plus one."


	3. Song: Wasting All These Tears

It would be accurate to say that Lance was crying, but that didn't fully explain what was going on.

Yes, there were tears streaming down Lance's face, more only coming as he wiped them away with the back of his hand, running down the hall to find somewhere, anywhere, where nobody would find him for a while.

But these tears weren't normal. They were confused tears, for one thing. Confused because they didn't know how to feel. Confused because nothing was making sense. Confused because it seemed like their trust had been in vain, and because nobody seemed to understand. They were also angry tears. Angry because they'd been betrayed. Angry because they'd let their guard down. Angry because they were crying about all of it.

What a babyish thing to do.

Wasn't that what Keith had said? That Lance was being a baby? Was he just proving Keith right now? Was he becoming exactly what he feared he was?

Maybe.

That's why these were also sad tears. Heartbroken tears. Helpless tears. Because no matter how hard Lance tried, no matter how much he tried to hide it, he knew he was hurt by it all. He was hurt by Keith, and as much as it made him mad to have let his guard down at all, he was even sadder that he'd been hurt by somebody he'd thought he could finally trust.

Trusting Keith wasn't the weirdest thing he'd ever done . . . he knew they were teammates, and although they had a rivalry, it was mostly just friendly bickering at this point. He'd grown a lot closer to Keith, and to all of his teammates, in the time they'd spent together, and he'd become a lot more mature, too.

Maybe that was why he was so angry to be hurt.

Wasn't he supposed to be this strong, cool, untouchable god? Wasn't he supposed to be someone that everyone could count on, that everyone adored, that everyone wanted to be?

But he wasn't like that, not in the slightest. He was weak. He was hurt. He was vulnerable.

He hated it.

He hated that he'd ever spilled anything to Keith.

He hated that Keith was such an asshole.

He hated that he was so weak.

He hated himself.

He'd always hated himself.

Lance leaned against whatever was behind him in the random hallway he'd wound up in, the tears still coming. He slid down, his knees pulling up to his chest, as he cried into his hands, trying to dry the tears with his shirt.

 _Why am I even so upset about this? It's not like Keith and I are best buds or something. He says jerky stuff to me all the time . . . why is this so different?_

Lance knew the answer, deep down.

It was because he'd finally opened up to him.

Because he'd always just ignored the insults before, or at least he thought he had.

Because no matter how much he hated to admit it, he and Keith weren't just teammates.

They were friends.

And betrayal from a friend that close hurt like hell.

Lance had finally stopped crying, an eerie silence filling the hall. The torch-lights had turned on around him when he entered, but even the brightly lit white hallway felt dark to him. Everything felt dark to him. He had no idea what to do. Avoid Keith, for one thing. But was he just going to ignore his emotions like he always did? If he was being honest with himself, was that even working anymore? Had it ever worked?

 _When you're feeling down, remember the things you love._

The words echoed in his mind, his mother's mantra comforting.

He closed his eyes, his breathing steady, as he thought of home. His family. His mom's hugs. Garlic knots. Varadero beach. Surfing. Swimming. Girls. Friends.

What about now? What did he love that he still had now?

He had to think for a moment, but the memories soon came. He loved his team. Hunk. Shiro. Pidge. Princess Allura. Coran. His Lion. The stars. The planets they'd saved. Being part of something. Saving people. Being a sharpshooter.

. . .

He'd forgotten something.

He didn't know what it was, but he was sure he'd forgotten something . . .

What could he have forgotten?

He quickly went through everything again.

Family. Hugs. Water stuff. Girls. Friends. Team. Stars. Savi- wait. That was it. His team. He'd said everyone . . . except for Keith.

But how could he say he loved Keith, after all of this? Sure, he'd admitted to himself that they were friends, but did he really have to _love_ him? Did he really have to admit that the relationship they had was equal to that of the one he had with Coran, or Allura, or Pidge, or Hunk, or Shiro? He didn't want to. He wasn't even sure if they _had_ a relationship anymore. He didn't really want one, at the moment. After all, he'd just been _crying_ because of him. People don't just cry because of someone they love.

 _Love hurts, mi amor._

Damn in, why did his mom always have to have relevant life advice like that? It was getting annoying, especially since he obviously did _not_ , in any way, shape, or form, _love_ Keith.

. . .

Right?

The Blue Paladin shook his head, dismissing the thoughts. He pulled his MP3 player out of his jacket pocket, putting in the earbuds to listen to some nice, relaxing music that would drown out all of his problems . . .

* * *

"Keith, where'd Lance go?" Shiro asked as the teen entered the room, the rest of Team Voltron looking to Keith with confused looks.

"He ran off. Thanks a lot for dragging us out there, by the way." Keith replied dryly, his teeth gritting.

"Oh, uh . . . " Shiro bit his lip. "I'm just trying to make sure nobody's doing anything they shouldn't be do-"

"Wait, wait, wait, what's going on?" Pidge asked, quirking a brow.

" _Nothing,_ " Keith said for what felt like the billionth time that day.

Hunk raised a brow at the three of them, then grabbed his spoon to finish off his food. He munched blissfully, making Keith a bit jealous. If only he'd been more careful with his words. O-or if he hadn't gotten so angry about it all. Or if he'd never fallen asleep . . . never gone to see Lance in the first place.

No, that was selfish. If he hadn't gotten to see Lance, he wouldn't have ever found out about all of those insecurities, all of those fears. They were definitely things Lance had needed to get out.

Then again, if he hadn't gotten to see Lance, none of this would have happened, and at least Lance wouldn't be angry as quiznack at him.

Too bad he couldn't do it over again.

Noticing the weird silence in the room, Keith murmured a small, "I'm gonna go train," before exiting the room.

He walked towards the training deck, though contemplating looking for Lance as he round a corner. If he hadn't been so occupied in his thoughts, he might have noticed a small thing crawling along the floor of the hallway. He might have noticed how alien it looked, and he might have realized it was definitely _not_ Altean.

He may have even stopped what was coming next.

* * *

 **Note: This is a shorter chapter, I know, but don't worry! The next one will be a longer one! Your reviews are deeply appreciated. Coming up next: Alien stuff! Insecurities! Klangst! (As if more Klangst is possible hehe.)**


	4. Song: Keep Holding On

_What if your blessings come from raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if you-_

Next.

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you . . . I'm sorry that I could-_

Next.

 _Well you only need the light when it's burning low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you love her when you let her go. Only know you've been high when you're feeling lo-_

Lance sighed, pulling his earbuds out. These songs were way too sad for him, and they were definitely _not_ helping the mood. He pressed pause on his MP3 player, shoving it back into his pocket as he massaged his temples with his free hand.

Looking down, he couldn't have seen what was quickly coming towards him, its little robotic legs clicking against the floor. It skittered up to him, scaling the wall behind him until it was just behind his neck. It jumped on, latching itself onto the skin.

Lance felt the contact immediately, his eyes widening as his head shot up with a gasp. "What the . . . " his eyes went blank, the color draining from them. He stared blankly at the wall opposite to him, not moving, not blinking, the only thing that proved he was still alive were his quiet breaths.

"Lance," the sudden voice snapped him back into reality, "there you are."

Lance turned to see Shiro, who's expression was a mix of concern and relief. "Oh, hi Shiro. What's up?"

"Uh . . . are you okay? Keith said you ran off." Shiro asked, stepping closer.

"Yes, I'm fine." Lance replied. His voice was calm and collected, his expression neutral.

"You sure? He sounded upset about it. Acutually, he seemed upset about a lot of things . . . Maybe I shouldn't have confronted you two . . ."

"No, it's absolutely fine. I'll talk to him, don't you worry." Lance smiled, his head cocking to the left slightly.

"Well, okay then. He's in the training room." Shiro smiled, happy that the two were finally seeming to get along.

"Cool," Lance smiled back, though it wasn't as cocky as usual. He got up from the ground, walking right past Shiro and towards the training deck. He bumped shoulders with Shiro as he walked, his MP3 player falling out of his pocket.

Shiro blinked twice, then picked the device up. "Hey, Lance, you dropped this."

Lance looked back, smiling, "I don't care about that. You could throw it into space for all I care."

Shiro quirked a brow, unable to think of a response as Lance strutted away, his eyes widening as he noticed the large bruise on the back of Lance's neck.

Lance made his way towards the training deck, not coming across anyone else on his way there. Pulling up his hood, he opened the doors to the deck, walking in swiftly.

Keith was surrounded by four training robots, and he was in the middle of slicing one in half with his bayard. He grunted, spinning around to kick the other one. It fell over, and he stabbed it square in the chest. It disappeared, then he did a roundhouse kick on the other two robots, then stabbing them as well. He breathed heavily, his hands resting on his legs.

"Training simulator off," he huffed, looking over to notice Lance, who was watching smugly, his arms crossed, for the first time. He straightened up immediately, his eyes widening. "L-lance! What . . . what are you doing here?"

"Just came to make sure you were alright. Shiro said you seemed upset." Lance smiled, walking forward.

"W-what? I'm . . . I'm fine. I, um . . . aren't you pissed at me?" Keith raised a brow.

"Pissed?" Lance chuckled, setting his hand on Keith's shouler. "Far from it. We're buds, Keith, you know that."

"B-buds? We're buds?" Keith stuttered,

"Of course," Lance smiled, his grip on Keith's shoulder getting tighter.

Keith blinked a few times, his cheeks flushing a light pink. "Even after all I . . . "

"It was nothing, really. I don't care," Lance smiled.

"B-but . . . " Keith's heart raced faster, his stomach turned to nothing.

"I'm fine," Lance's smile grew wider, leaning a bit closer to Keith.

"You . . . you're not fine, you know that. You don't have to lie to me, really. I'm . . . I'm sorry I was being such a douche bag, I-I won't say things like that ever again, I-"

" _Keith_ ," Lance cut him off, smiling. "I told you, I don't care about any of that. I know you didn't mean to say that, so it's okay."

"But it's _not_ okay . . . " Keith frowned, "what I said _wasn't_ okay. None of it was okay, and you shouldn't be okay with it!"

"But I told you, it's fine," Lance's smile grew wider. "I forgive you."

"But . . . " Keith trailed off.

"Keith, buddy, come on. It's fine. Let's just focus on training, and Voltron, and saving the universe, okay?" Lance's smile seemed sincere, and he leaned just a little closer, like a parent trying to level with their child.

Keith could barely believe what he was hearing. None of it seemed like Lance. He must have been shutting himself up, he realized. He must have been so hurt, so damaged by Keith, that he just shut down. He was refusing to even acknowledge his feelings. Keith felt horrible, knowing it was _him_ who'd caused all of this. But instead of fighting back, instead of trying to get Lance to open up, he just said, "yeah, okay."

"Great," Lance pushed off Keith like a swimmer to a wall, flinging himself into a walk, whilst also pushing Keith backward a little. It was a weird move, one that Keith had never seen Lance do before. Or anyone, for that matter.

"Hey, Lance," Keith called, his voice hesitant.

"Yes?" Lance turned back around to face him.

"Are we . . . um . . . when do you think we should talk to Allura and Shiro about going back to Earth?" Keith asked, remembering the promise he'd made. He knew Earth was important to Lance, so he wanted to at least give him that, if that was all he could do at the moment.

"Earth?" Lance waved the idea away, "Keith, our work is _here_. We have to defend the universe that's _actually_ in danger. We don't have time for pit stops to _Earth_."

"But you said we'd-"

"Buddy, come on, let's just go get Hunk for that team training we were talking about earlier." Lance gave another smile.

Keith blinked a few times. What was going on? Lance _loved_ Earth, that much was obvious. Keith knew he missed his family, and he figured he'd probably do anything to get back to them. That was why he'd promised to do just that. When they'd talked about it, Lance had seemed so on board with it all . . . he'd seemed _excited_. Now he didn't even _care_? What the hell was going on?

Before he could even think of a response, Pidge burst into the room, panting. "Keith! Shiro needs you!"

"What? Why? Is he in danger?" Keith asked, running up to Pidge, his eyes wide in alarm.

"No, he just . . . come with me." Pidge grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the room as she ran.

He ran with her, "I don't understand, why is this so urgent?"

She looked back behind them, as if making sure they were alone in the hallway they were running in, then looked back at Keith, "we're having a team meeting."

"What? Why didn't you get Lance then?" Keith was getting more and more confused by each explanation.

"Because it's _about Lance_ , you idiot."

"What? Why are we having a team meeting about _Lance_?"

She sighed, "Shiro will explain."

Keith just quirked a brow, allowing the Green Paladin to drag him into Shiro's room, where Shiro, Hunk, Allura, and Coran were all sitting on the floor in a circle-like formation.

"Okay, can someone please explain?" Keith asked, taking a seat on the floor in between Pidge and Hunk.

Shiro sighed, "Keith, this might be a bit of an embarrassing question, but . . . did you give Lance a hickey?"

Keith's cheeks were suddenly on fire, the rest of his skin seeming more and more pale. "W-what?! No! Why the _hell_ would I give _Lance_ a hickey?!"

Shiro frowned, "sorry, it was the only explanation I could think of that could help dispro-"

"WHY WOULD THAT BE AN EXPLANATION?! I WOULD _NEVER_ DO THAT!" Keith crossed his arms, his face now the same color as his jacket.

"Keith, shut up for a second," Pidge snapped.

Keith just scowled at them all.

"Listen team, we need to calm down." Shiro said, a hint of worry in his eyes. "We have a _very_ serious matter to discuss."

"And what _is_ this matter, exactly?" Keith asked.

"I . . . I noticed a large bruise on the back of Lance's neck a few minutes ago. It looked pretty recent, and . . . I'm afraid he did it to himself." Shiro said.

Coran and Allura gasped, looking to the others.

"What?" Keith was immediately concerned. "Why would he . . . " he knew the answer. The anxiety must have been worse than he'd thought.

"I don't know. But he was acting . . . a little weird, too. He dropped his MP3 player," Shiro held the device up, "and when I tried to give it back, he told me I could throw it into _space_ for all he cared."

"What?" Hunk's jaw dropped. "Lance cannot _live_ without that thing!"

"Exactly my point," Shiro sighed. "I'm . . . I think he's going down a _bad_ path. If I'm right, and the bruise was self-inflicted, then . . . "

"You think he's self harming," Keith finished, the puzzle pieces coming together.

"Yes, and I think it might get worse if we don't do something." Shiro said, the fear in his voice able to be heard from a mile away.

"Oh no!" Allura covered her mouth.

"Suicide," Pidge whispered, though everyone could hear it.

Allura gasped, the very word seeming to eat her from the inside.

"No." Hunk shook his head, "no, no, no, no, no. There is _no way_ my best bud is going to . . . would ever do . . . "

"It _is_ a possibility, Hunk, but let's not jump to conclusions," Shiro soberly informed.

"But this isn't possible! There's no way! It never got . . . " Hunk shook his head before continuing. "I mean, he's so . . . he's just . . . _Lance"_ he finished, though Keith sensed he knew more than he was letting on.

"We need to keep every outcome in mind," Shiro started, "and if he's showing signs, then . . . "

"Wait," Keith interjected, "why don't we go through the warning signs, and see if he fits any of them?"

"I'll find them, hold on." Pidge grabbed her laptop from her shirt's pocket, Keith surprised that it could ever fit in there. After a moment, Pidge straightened her glasses, reading from some sort of list. "Sudden, dramatic, and unexplained changes in behavior. Giving away prized possessions. Depressing statements, like being helpless, or hopeless, or worthless. Anxiety. Mood changes. Withdrawal from family and friends, or, on the other hand, suddenly talking and connecting with family and old friends to tie up loose ends. Sudden change in appearance. Sleep problems. Recent trauma or life crisis. Self-harm."

Shiro looked to the group, "okay, everyone say if they've seen signs of any of these in Lance lately. I know he's given away a prized possession," Shiro held up the MP3 player.

"He did seem to be acting kind of . . . _off_ this morning, but it didn't seem major . . . " Hunk said.

"Would having to leave Earth and join Voltron be considered a life crisis?" Allura asked, looking guilty.

"Possibly," Shiro frowned.

"He did talk to me one day about missing home and such, on the day Sendek invaded the castle." Coran input, his voice wavering. "Would that count as depressing thoughts?"

"Guys," Keith said, his voice weak. He tried again, "guys, I think I've seen him fit everything on this list."

"What? You? When?" Pidge asked.

Keith took a deep breath, hoping they weren't all reading to far into this. He knew Lance would kill him if he found out he was doing this, but . . . "Last night, I was going back to my room when I heard a noise coming from Lance's room. I went to see what it was, and I found him having a panic attack. He said _lots_ of depressing statements, trust me, and most of them were about feeling helpless, guilty, worthless . . . He seemed to be having trouble falling asleep, too. Besides that, he was talking about his family, like, a _lot_. I promised him we'd be able to go back to Earth, and see them. But then, today, we kind of . . . got in a fight, but he came up to me while I was training and acted like it never happened. Then, when I asked him about going back to Earth, he said it didn't matter, and that his work was here. Also, he was wearing his hood for once, if that counts as a sudden change in appearance . . . "

The others just stared at him, gaping. They barely seemed to believe the story, but they seemed even more concerned now that Keith had just checked off almost every item on the list.

"Keith, I had no idea that's what . . . " Shiro began to apologize.

"It's fine. To be honest though, I didn't really expect it." Keith responded.

Hunk looked at him, "he used to have anxiety attacks once in a while, but I thought they'd stopped around the time high school started. I had no idea he still . . . "

"Guys, if he fits all the warning signs, don't you think we should do something?" Pidge spoke up, the situation suddenly feeling like a ticking bomb about to explode.

"Yes, we should definitely do something," Shiro agreed. "Keith, did he seem more . . . closed about his feelings, then?"

"Yes," Keith nodded.

"Then he'll probably deny it if we ask him directly . . . " Allura tapped her chin.

"This website says not to leave him alone. _Ever_." Pidge said suddenly, looking up at her teammates.

Coran stood up, "I'll go be with him now, while you guys figure out a plan."

Shiro nodded as Coran exited the room, then looked back at the others.

"Maybe he's just closed up to me?" Keith said. "I mean, we did just get in a fight . . . " Keith felt horrible admitting it. He was probably adding to the problem all along.

"Maybe," Hunk looked down sadly, "but he hasn't told _me_ anything in years . . . maybe he's trying to hide it."

"Maybe . . . " Shiro agreed.

The group went on talking about it for about half an hour, discussing plans and ways to help Lance feel loved. It was nice, and it would have been the perfect thing to do . . . if only they had been right in their assumptions.

* * *

 **Author's note: NO, Lance is NOT suicidal, and NO, there will be no self harming or suicide in this. I hope that was made clear by the end of this chapter.** _ **Anyways**_ **. . . thank you guys so much for your reviews! They mean the world to me! The next chapter will be up as soon as possible, but I have to take some exams this week so it may take until the next weekend. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish it sooner than that, though!**

 **Next Chapter: KLANGST AF. BETRAYAL. JEALOUSY. ALIEN TECHNOLOGY MOTIVES?**


	5. Song: Human by Christina Perri

"Lance!" Coran shouted, catching his breath as he ran up to the Paladin. "There you are!"

"Oh, hey Coran," Lance gave his new smile. "Hey, do you know what time it is?"

"Umm . . . " Coran tapped his chin, trying to act calmly, "about 11 am in Earth hours. Why?"

"Oh, no reason . . . " Lance trailed off, crossing his arms. "So, you've been looking for me?"

"Y-yes!" Coran gave a weak smile, "erm, I . . . I need you to help me with some . . . repairs! Yes, repairs!"

"Repairs on what?" Lance's brow raised.

"On the uhm . . . " Coran suddenly beamed, his pointer finger going up, "on the thrusters, of course! Haven't you noticed them acting up?"

"No, Coran, I can't say I have."

"Well then, you have much to learn about this ship!" Coran grabbed Lance's hand gently, taking him towards the control room of the ship. "You see, the thrusters can only be controlled by the room, usually by Allura, but I can use them if I press a few buttons . . . Anyways, we'll have to do a few tests, screw a few screws, you know . . . machine things."

"Uh huh," Lance lazily showed signs of his interest in the conversation, eyes trailing towards the walls.

"And of course, we'll be doing it for a while . . . "

"Probably,"

"So if you want to, oh I dunno, talk about anything, then we sure could!" Coran gave a wide smile, eyes sparkling.

Lance smirked a bit, "oh, I have plenty of things to talk about."

"You do?" Coran's smile grew wider every second.

"Yes. Like Keith's ass, for instance."

"Like . . . " Coran's smile faltered, "what?"

"Yeah, he has a great ass, don't you think?"

"I . . . um . . . what?" Coran sputtered, his smile long gone.

Lance stopped suddenly, "hey, I gotta use the bathroom real quick, I'll meet you in the control room, mmkay?"

Coran was too dumbfounded to answer, "I, erm."

"Great, I'll be there in just a tick!" Lance shouted, already half way down the hall.

It took Coran a few seconds to realize he'd let Lance get away, and be alone once again. "Quiznack . . . "

_

"Alright, are we clear on what we're going to do?" Shiro asked, his hands sitting firmly on his knees.

Pidge nodded, "be as nice as possible."

"Let him know we're there to talk," Hunk continued.

"Compliment him at every chance," Allura added.

"And be as supportive as heck," Keith finished.

"Good," Shiro nodded, getting up from the floor. "And don't act too different, we don't want him to feel uncomfortable. Just . . . be nice, okay?"

"Okay," everyone agreed, getting up themselves.

"And if he seems like he needs to say something," Shiro added, "let him know he can say it."

"Got it," Keith nodded, memorizing every instruction like his life depended on it.

"I just feel so horrible . . . " Allura commented, looking down. "I feel as if this is partly my fault."

"It's all our faults," Hunk put in, "none of us even noticed . . . "

Pidge looked down solemnly, "I wonder how many nights he's laid there, wondering if anyone loves him."

"Too many," Shiro stated, opening the door. "Let's go. We've been away from him long enough."

Everyone nodded, following him out the door.

_

The faint clicking of Lance's heels was all that could be heard in the dark hallway as he headed towards the bathroom. He entered it cautiously, looking around to make sure nobody else was present. He sighed as he walked in, looking into the mirror. He frowned at his hood, pulling it back down as it usually sat.

 _Are you alone?_ a voice asked, the sound vibrating throughout his entire body.

"Yes," he answered aloud, barely knowing what he was responding to. He didn't know why he was in there, he didn't even have to use the bathroom.

 _Good._ The voice was smooth, each word seeming inviting, yet dangerous. _Now listen to me, Lance. You must find out their weaknesses. Find out what will kill them. I'll help you._  
"Kill them?" Lance repeated, his mind clouding the sound of his own words. "B-but . . . they're my friends . . . " he felt a new uncertainty saying that, his lips dipping into a small frown.

 _Keith betrayed you, so what makes you think the others won't? They aren't your friends. They don't care about you. You're just a seventh wheel._

The reality of it all came crashing down on him at the mention of those two words. He'd almost forgotten about the remark he'd made to who he'd thought to be Slav, but he could hear them ringing clearly in his mind now. _Seventh wheel_. That's all he was.

Lance shook his head, "but I couldn't . . . they're saving the universe!"

 _Are they? How do you know that the Galra aren't in the right here? What if everything you know is a lie? What if they're working for Zarkon?_

"But . . . aren't _you_ working for Zarkon?" Lance asked, thinking that could be the only possible explanation for the voice.

 _No! I'm trying to overthrow him! Listen, Lance, your friends aren't what they seem. They're only going to hurt you . . ._

"Hurt me . . . "

 _Me, on the other hand? I'm going to help you. I'm going to save you from them. They don't care about you, Lance, but I do._

"Really?" Lance smiled slightly, only his subconscious now wondering who the voice belonged to.

 _Yes, really. I care about you deeply, Lance. Very deeply._

"Wow . . . " Lance looked into the mirror once again, "I don't think anyone's ever said that to me before . . . "

 _I'd never lie to you._

_

"What do you _mean_ you let him get away?!" Keith asked once again, teeth gritting.

"I'm sorry!" Coran pleaded. "He said some . . . _things_ , and then he said he had to use the bathroom, and who am I to-"

"What things?" Hunk asked, raising a brow.

"Well, uh," Coran didn't quite know what to reveal, with Keith standing right there.

"Coran, if it was enough to make you that . . . paralyzed, then you need to tell us," Shiro crossed his arms, a sort of _I-don't-get-paid-enough-for-this_ look on his face.

"Well . . . " Coran gulped, "he just revealed some . . . private information."

"Like?" Pidge tapped her foot impatiently.

"Things I _probably_ shouldn't be telling you, okay? It wasn't anything depressing, I promise," Coran put up his hands in defense.

"I swear to God, if he said he had a crush on Allura or something, we already _know_ ," Keith crossed his arms.

"Wait, what?" Allura raised a brow. "He has a _what_ on me?"

" . . . well quiznack," Hunk sighed.

"Ugh," Keith threw his hands in the air, "can we just go find him before he does something stupid?!"

Keith looked at the group with a confused expression, all of them silent.

"What? What is it?"

Hunk coughed, nodding his head behind Keith.

Keith turned around, seeing Lance, hood on once again, and biting his lip.

"Talking about me? I know, I'm awesome," Lance grinned, masking the uncertainty that had been on his face just seconds before. "You guys gonna help Coran and I fix the thrusters?"

"I . . . y-yeah," Keith gave an awkward smile, wondering how badly he'd messed up this time. How much had Lance heard?

"Yes! The thrusters!" Coran smiled, "come on, this way then!"

Coran stopped mid-step, the castle suddenly being filled with red blaring alarms.

"Quiznack!" Pidge shouted, the group running into the control room.

Coran and Allura pulled up the screens, warning signs everywhere.

"It's a Galra ship!" Allura's eyes widened as she grabbed the microphone.

"They're sending us a message!" Shiro pointed out, gesturing towards the screen.

"Please do not fire," the computer read the encoded text, "we are sending our captain."

"Do _not_ come here! What do you want?!" Allura spat into the mic, her fierceness returning.

"Our captain will explain, but we cannot speak over this," they replied, "it's not safe enough."

Allura looked back to the team, raising a brow.

"Let them come," Shiro advised, "they could be allies of the Blade of Marmora."

"Yeah, and if not, there might be some other Galra rebel groups we don't know about . . . " Hunk added.

"Or they could come here and kill us," Pidge dryly argued.

"I say let 'em come," Lance grinned. "If they try anything, we can just beat them up and send them back to where they came from."

Allura sighed, "alright. You may come."

_

Prince Lotor sure was a character.

Team Voltron had made sure every entrance but one - the one the captain would be coming in from - were blocked. They all held their weapons close, ready to fight if anything happened. Allura made it clear that this was not to be taken lightly.

As the small pod arrived, the tension seemed higher than ever. They were about to see this ship's captain, the one they knew absolutely nothing about . . . the one that was seemingly there to help.

Keith bit his lip, Bayard raised as the pod opened, a tall figure in a dark suit stepping out. They took off their helmet, revealing long, almost silky looking white hair. He was definitely a Galra. He gave them a grin, one that seemed to be a mix of trustworthy and completely suspicious, making Keith's first opinion on him a bit unclear.

But Keith felt a rage erupt inside him as he noticed the man looking right at Lance, his grin growing even wider.

"Hello," he said, his voice sultry and dangerous, yet it seemed to draw in anyone listening. "My name is Prince Lotor, the son of Emperor Zarkon."

Needless to say, weapons were immediately drawn at that.

Lotor put up his hands defensively, "yes, I know that introduction was . . . odd. But listen: I'm on your side. I've seen the error in my father's ways, and I've been attempting to overthrow him for years now."

"We're listening . . . " Shiro nodded, though his arm was still glowing purple.

"I found out about your many . . . " Lotor searched for the right word, " _quests_ throughout the universe, and I knew instantly that I needed to ally with this . . . this _Voltron_. And it seems as if you could use my help, as well."

"What could you possibly offer us?" Allura asked, her tone doubtful.

"Well, for one thing, I know more about Zarkon than anyone in the universe . . . " Lotor grinned. "Not to mention my _many_ ties and resources."

"So what's the catch?" Keith asked, his sword still pointed at Lotor.

Lotor smiled, stepping towards him confidently. "You're smart to think of yourself first. I'm sure it's saved you from a lot of . . . heartbreak. And yes, there is a catch. My Galra ship is too obvious to fly in anymore. Allies have mistaken me for the enemy, and its technology is . . . well, it's not the best ship in the world. But this castle . . . " Lotor gestured towards the room. "It has everything. And it's safe. My father would never suspect me being here. If you all let me stay here, I can help you, and I'll be able to stay hidden from the Galra Empire. My crew will stay on my ship, of course, so my father will be thrown off by my actual whereabouts."

Lance spoke before anyone else could respond, "I say we trust him. I mean, he helps us defeat Zarkon, and all we have to do is give him a room? Seems easy enough."

"Yeah, but . . . " Hunk tapped his chin, then pointed at Lotor, "how do we know you're telling the truth?"

Lotor just gave another grin at that, pulling something out of his pocket. "This chip holds all the information I have about my father's ship. Guard schedules, security measures, the best times for an attack . . . I can give it to you right now, and you can review it. If you still think you can't trust me, then I'll leave, and you can keep it. But if you decided to let me stay . . . I'll be your greatest asset." Lotor held the chip out, ready to let it be taken.

The group took a moment to think about it, each person seeming somewhat hesitant to take the chip; until finally, Lance took it from Lotor's opened hand. He smiled, looking at it curiously, before handing it to Pidge.

"Let's just look at it, guys. I mean, what do we have to lose?" he said, looking to the others.

Needless to say, none of them could bear to say no to him after what they had (mistakenly) discovered. So Allura just nodded, and the rest of them lowered their weapons, Keith being the last to after giving Lotor a nasty look. He didn't trust him . . . but he supposed he'd let the chip do the talking. Well, he'd still be suspicious of him, and if he did anything even slightly out of line, _he would end him._ But if he did end up being a good ally . . . Keith didn't want to ruin it for the team. _did_ end up being a good ally . . . Keith didn't want to ruin it for the team.

"You stay here, we will be back soon with our decision," Allura told Lotor. "And don't try anything. We have . . . security measures in this castle."

Then she led the group out of the room, silently telling her mice to keep an eye on the mysterious prince. Lance was the last to leave the room, giving what seemed to be a suspicious gaze to Lotor. But to the two men, it was clear that this was a look of trust.

Lotor was the voice in Lance's head.

_

Lance lazily fiddled with his sleeve as the others did most of the analyzing, not really having much to say on the situation. He couldn't help but think about Lotor most of the time, though . . . He really was going to help Lance. He'd come all this way . . . just for him.

 _I'll be here whenever you need me, Lance. Your friends won't be able to hurt you again._

Lance smiled slightly to himself, knowing now that it was Lotor speaking to him. He still didn't know how he did it, but hearing his voice made him feel . . . safe. Like one of his mother's warm hugs.

 _And once they die, we'll be able to rule the universe the_ right way _. And we'll do it all together._

Lance's smile grew a bit wider, his perception of the world around him completely disappearing as he gradually became lost in his own mind. He imagined he and Lotor commanding thousands of Galra soldiers, saving planets that had previously been enslaved . . . It would be great. _They_ would be great.

But his mind soon became filled with horrible, horrible images. His friends, hurt and alone, as if they'd all been abandoned. By him. But he saw something in their eyes. Something . . . frightening. They were all trying to hurt him. They were all going to hurt him.

Just like they always did.

Just like Keith.

Lance shook his head, arms crossed as he tried to recapture the images that had been in his mind just moments before . . . all the glory and support he was going to have soon. Lotor was the only real friend he had.

"Lance?"

Lance blinked, looking over to the group. "Sorry, I got lost in thought. What did you say?"

"We asked what you think of Lotor." Pidge straightened her glasses.

"Lotor? Oh, well . . . I mean, he seems cool, ya know? I think he'd be a good ally." Lance responded, a bit disoriented.

"Well then," Allura sighed, "that settles it. We're allying with Lotor, and we're letting him stay in the castle."

Keith seemed a bit unsure of that, Lance noticed, only furthering his distrust of his friends.

"Let's go inform him of our decision," Shiro said, already heading towards the door.

Everyone nodded, following him out.

Keith bumped into Lance by accident, his face going a bit whiter as he realized just who he'd run into. "S-sorry, Lance . . . "

What was that face for? Did Keith really hate him _that_ much?

Lance hesitated before looking in front of him once again, his hood falling down. "It's fine."

"Seriously, _I'm sorry_."

Lance guessed that apology was for more than just bumping into him. But he didn't care. His apologies were lies. Everything was a lie. Keith lied. So Lance didn't respond, his pace getting a little faster.

He could barely hear the small sigh Keith let out.

They arrived back at the docking bay, where Lotor was leaning against his ship. He straightened up as he saw them coming towards him, a small smirk forming.

"So . . . ?"

Allura crossed her arms, "we've all agreed to let you stay. But you will be dealt with if you step out of line. Don't make any decisions regarding Voltron without our consent. Agreed?" Allura put out her hand.

"Of course, Princess," Lotor took her hand, kissing her knuckles lightly after he shook it. He released it carefully before Allura could even pull it away.

Shiro seemed especially disgusted by that, but his face showed little of his emotion to someone who didn't know him well.

"Where will I be staying, exactly?" Lotor asked, his constant smile seeming to win the group over more with every passing second.

"There is an extra room in the hallway where the Paladin's reside. You will sleep in there." Allura responded, waving for him to follow her.

She began walking towards the exit to the room, everyone following her as she gave a miniature tour to Lotor, who seemed impressed - yet also completely stoic - by everything he saw.

Lance, meanwhile, couldn't help but drift back into his world of half-consciousness. There was no doubt in his mind that Lotor was there to help him, and the doubts of eventually killing his so-called friends were faint whispers in the fog of his thoughts.

He didn't care about them anymore. Why should he? They were only going to hurt him.

He glanced at Lotor, who was grinning widely at something Hunk had said, probably having to do with food, and smiled slightly. He was going to be okay. It was going to be okay, and it would all be because of Lotor.

Lance itched the back of his neck unconsciously, pulling his hood up afterwards. Speeding up his pace as to get closer to the Galran prince, he barely even noticed the sudden feeling of tiredness and calm that spread over him. It was different, but he didn't mind. He smiled brightly, thinking about how great it would be once it was just him and Lotor . . . how great it would be once his friends were gone.

Then came another feeling, once Lance just couldn't describe . . . It was weird and different, but it was almost like bliss.

And almost like he wasn't himself anymore.

_

It was nighttime (according to the ship's timezone), and most of the castle was tucked nicely into their beds, sleeping silently. Even the mice were all cuddled up against Allura's pillow, snoring quietly in the darkness.

But Lance was still awake.

He'd been feeling great, better than ever before . . . until he suddenly became confused, disoriented, depressed . . . it all happened around 1 am. He was having doubts about his plans with Lotor . . . doubts on who he thought he could trust . . . Maybe Keith had hurt him, and maybe his friends would, too . . . but that didn't mean they deserved to die, right? Lance wasn't the type of person to just go and _murder_ people, anyways . . . though, he did recall Lotor saying he'd only have to help with the _plan_ to kill them. Or maybe he was just confused again . . .

But he knew he didn't want to hurt anyone, right? He'd always been taught to solve his conflicts with words and with actions, but never with violence. Violence was the last resort.

 _Always_ the last resort.

In the midst of all this confusion and anxiety, Lance had found himself itching at his neck again, though he had no idea why.

And then he heard it: Lotor's voice, though less clear this time, in his head.

 _Are you okay?_

"I don't know . . . I feel really . . . _weird_ ," Lance responded aloud, running his hand through his hair.

 _I can help you to feel better. Meet me in the training deck._

Lance only nodded at that, getting up to make his way towards the deck. He arrived there only moments after Lotor did, and they both smiled at the sight of the other.

"Lance, come here," Lotor gestured towards himself, and Lance jogged over to him. "Turn around, I'm going to put something on you."

Lance did as he was told, still feeling a bit uneasy, but he knew Lotor was about to make it all go away.

Lotor placed a small bug-like device on the back of Lance's neck, the boy's eyes widening in surprise.

"Agh!" Lance shouted out, his body going a bit limp as he fell into Lotor's arms, his pupils dilating and irises being drained of their color.

"Good boy . . . " Lotor grinned, lifting Lance up slightly, "now let's talk about your 'friends', shall we?"

Lance only nodded, his body still unable to do anything else as he blankly stared at Lotor.

 **AGGHHHH! I'm so sorry this chapter took so much longer! I had a bad case of writer's block for about a week, and then it was difficult to write Lance going into such a downwards spiral . . . my poor boy! Anyways, I hope you guys are ready for the next chapter because things are about to get** ** _real_** **. (I have exams soon, so the next chapter probably won't be up for a few weeks . . . unless I can somehow write it quickly?)**

 **Next Chapter: MORE KLANGST (I PROMISE!) LOTOR'S PLANS? LANCE'S PATH TO DARKNESS! CONFUSED PALADINS? AND VERY HARD DECISIONS!**


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